Bertrand Russell Quotes

Democracy is the process by which people choose the man who'll get the blame.
~ Bertrand Russell

Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
~ Bertrand Russell

Dogmatism and skepticism are both, in a sense, absolute philosophies; one is certain of knowing, the other of not knowing. What philosophy should dissipate is certainty, whether of knowledge or ignorance.
~ Bertrand Russell

Drunkenness is temporary suicide.
~ Bertrand Russell

Ethics is in origin the art of recommending to others the sacrifices required for cooperation with oneself.
~ Bertrand Russell

Every philosophical problem, when it is subjected to the necessary analysis and justification, is found either to be not really philosophical at all, or else to be, in the sense in which we are using the word, logical.
~ Bertrand Russell

Extreme hopes are born from extreme misery.
~ Bertrand Russell

The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd.
~ Bertrand Russell

The fundamental concept in social science is Power, in the same sense in which Energy is the fundamental concept in physics.
~ Bertrand Russell

To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.
~ Bertrand Russell

To teach how to live without certainty and yet without being paralysed by hesitation is perhaps the chief thing that philosophy, in our age, can do for those who study it.
~ Bertrand Russell

To understand a name you must be acquainted with the particular of which it is a name.
~ Bertrand Russell

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
~ Bertrand Russell

We are faced with the paradoxical fact that education has become one of the chief obstacles to intelligence and freedom of thought.
~ Bertrand Russell

What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out, which is the exact opposite.
~ Bertrand Russell

When the intensity of emotional conviction subsides, a man who is in the habit of reasoning will search for logical grounds in favour of the belief which he finds in himself.
~ Bertrand Russell

Why is propaganda so much more successful when it stirs up hatred than when it tries to stir up friendly feeling?
~ Bertrand Russell

With the introduction of agriculture mankind entered upon a long period of meanness, misery, and madness, from which they are only now being freed by the beneficent operation of the machine.
~ Bertrand Russell

The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it.
~ Bertrand Russell

The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.
~ Bertrand Russell

The secret to happiness is to face the fact that the world is horrible.
~ Bertrand Russell

The slave is doomed to worship time and fate and death, because they are greater than anything he finds in himself, and because all his thoughts are of things which they devour.
~ Bertrand Russell

The theoretical understanding of the world, which is the aim of philosophy, is not a matter of great practical importance to animals, or to savages, or even to most civilised men.
~ Bertrand Russell

The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
~ Bertrand Russell

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
~ Bertrand Russell

The true spirit of delight, the exaltation, the sense of being more than Man, which is the touchstone of the highest excellence, is to be found in mathematics as surely as poetry.
~ Bertrand Russell

The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
~ Bertrand Russell

Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy.
~ Bertrand Russell

Liberty is the right to do what I like; license, the right to do what you like.
~ Bertrand Russell

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.
~ Bertrand Russell

Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives.
~ Bertrand Russell

Machines are worshipped because they are beautiful and valued because they confer power; they are hated because they are hideous and loathed because they impose slavery.
~ Bertrand Russell

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something; in the absence of good grounds for belief, he will be satisfied with bad ones.
~ Bertrand Russell

Man needs, for his happiness, not only the enjoyment of this or that, but hope and enterprise and change.
~ Bertrand Russell

Many a man will have the courage to die gallantly, but will not have the courage to say, or even to think, that the cause for which he is asked to die is an unworthy one.
~ Bertrand Russell

Many people when they fall in love look for a little haven of refuge from the world, where they can be sure of being admired when they are not admirable, and praised when they are not praiseworthy.
~ Bertrand Russell

Many people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
~ Bertrand Russell

There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.
~ Bertrand Russell

Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution.
~ Bertrand Russell

Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.
~ Bertrand Russell

Mathematics takes us into the region of absolute necessity, to which not only the actual word, but every possible word, must conform.
~ Bertrand Russell

Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education.
~ Bertrand Russell

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact.
~ Bertrand Russell

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
~ Bertrand Russell

Much that passes as idealism is disguised hatred or disguised love of power.
~ Bertrand Russell

No; we have been as usual asking the wrong question. It does not matter a hoot what the mockingbird on the chimney is singing. The real and proper question is: Why is it beautiful?
~ Bertrand Russell

Almost everything that distinguishes the modern world from earlier centuries is attributable to science, which achieved its most spectacular triumphs in the seventeenth century.
~ Bertrand Russell

Anything you're good at contributes to happiness.
~ Bertrand Russell

Aristotle could have avoided the mistake of thinking that women have fewer teeth than men, by the simple device of asking Mrs. Aristotle to keep her mouth open while he counted.
~ Bertrand Russell

Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.
~ Bertrand Russell

Awareness of universals is called conceiving, and a universal of which we are aware is called a concept.
~ Bertrand Russell

Boredom is... a vital problem for the moralist, since half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it.
~ Bertrand Russell

Both in thought and in feeling, even though time be real, to realise the unimportance of time is the gate of wisdom.
~ Bertrand Russell

Collective fear stimulates herd instinct, and tends to produce ferocity toward those who are not regarded as members of the herd.
~ Bertrand Russell

Contempt for happiness is usually contempt for other people's happiness, and is an elegant disguise for hatred of the human race.
~ Bertrand Russell

Conventional people are roused to fury by departure from convention, largely because they regard such departure as a criticism of themselves.
~ Bertrand Russell

None but a coward dares to boast that he has never known fear.
~ Bertrand Russell

A hallucination is a fact, not an error; what is erroneous is a judgment based upon it.
~ Bertrand Russell

A happy life must be to a great extent a quiet life, for it is only in an atmosphere of quiet that true joy dare live.
~ Bertrand Russell

A life without adventure is likely to be unsatisfying, but a life in which adventure is allowed to take whatever form it will is sure to be short.
~ Bertrand Russell

A process which led from the amoeba to man appeared to the philosophers to be obviously a progress though whether the amoeba would agree with this opinion is not known.
~ Bertrand Russell

A sense of duty is useful in work but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not to be endured with patient resignation.
~ Bertrand Russell

A truer image of the world, I think, is obtained by picturing things as entering into the stream of time from an eternal world outside, than from a view which regards time as the devouring tyrant of all that is.
~ Bertrand Russell

Admiration of the proletariat, like that of dams, power stations, and aeroplanes, is part of the ideology of the machine age.
~ Bertrand Russell

Advocates of capitalism are very apt to appeal to the sacred principles of liberty, which are embodied in one maxim: The fortunate must not be restrained in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate.
~ Bertrand Russell

Against my will, in the course of my travels, the belief that everything worth knowing was known at Cambridge gradually wore off. In this respect my travels were very useful to me.
~ Bertrand Russell

All movements go too far.
~ Bertrand Russell

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate.
~ Bertrand Russell

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
~ Bertrand Russell

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
~ Bertrand Russell

One should respect public opinion insofar as is necessary to avoid starvation and keep out of prison, but anything that goes beyond this is voluntary submission to an unnecessary tyranny.
~ Bertrand Russell

Order, unity, and continuity are human inventions, just as truly as catalogues and encyclopedias.
~ Bertrand Russell

Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
~ Bertrand Russell

Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country.
~ Bertrand Russell

Reason is a harmonising, controlling force rather than a creative one.
~ Bertrand Russell

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation can be trusted to act humanely or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
~ Bertrand Russell

Next to enjoying ourselves, the next greatest pleasure consists in preventing others from enjoying themselves, or, more generally, in the acquisition of power.
~ Bertrand Russell

No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
~ Bertrand Russell

There is no need to worry about mere size. We do not necessarily respect a fat man more than a thin man. Sir Isaac Newton was very much smaller than a hippopotamus, but we do not on that account value him less.
~ Bertrand Russell

If any philosopher had been asked for a definition of infinity, he might have produced some unintelligible rigmarole, but he would certainly not have been able to give a definition that had any meaning at all.
~ Bertrand Russell

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years.
~ Bertrand Russell

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.
~ Bertrand Russell

In America everybody is of the opinion that he has no social superiors, since all men are equal, but he does not admit that he has no social inferiors, for, from the time of Jefferson onward, the doctrine that all men are equal applies only upwards, not downwards.
~ Bertrand Russell

In the revolt against idealism, the ambiguities of the word experience have been perceived, with the result that realists have more and more avoided the word.
~ Bertrand Russell

Indignation is a submission of our thoughts, but not of our desires.
~ Bertrand Russell

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this.
~ Bertrand Russell

It is possible that mankind is on the threshold of a golden age; but, if so, it will be necessary first to slay the dragon that guards the door, and this dragon is religion.
~ Bertrand Russell

It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly.
~ Bertrand Russell

It seems to be the fate of idealists to obtain what they have struggled for in a form which destroys their ideals.
~ Bertrand Russell

There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths.
~ Bertrand Russell

Those who forget good and evil and seek only to know the facts are more likely to achieve good than those who view the world through the distorting medium of their own desires.
~ Bertrand Russell

Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, Thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought is great and swift and free.
~ Bertrand Russell

Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind.
~ Bertrand Russell

To acquire immunity to eloquence is of the utmost importance to the citizens of a democracy.
~ Bertrand Russell

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.
~ Bertrand Russell

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.
~ Bertrand Russell

The universe may have a purpose, but nothing we know suggests that, if so, this purpose has any similarity to ours.
~ Bertrand Russell

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.
~ Bertrand Russell

Work is of two kinds: first, altering the position of matter at or near the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people to do so.
~ Bertrand Russell

The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them.
~ Bertrand Russell

The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.
~ Bertrand Russell

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented Hell.
~ Bertrand Russell

The megalomaniac differs from the narcissist by the fact that he wishes to be powerful rather than charming, and seeks to be feared rather than loved. To this type belong many lunatics and most of the great men of history.
~ Bertrand Russell

The most savage controversies are about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.
~ Bertrand Russell

The observer, when he seems to himself to be observing a stone, is really, if physics is to be believed, observing the effects of the stone upon himself.
~ Bertrand Russell

The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation.
~ Bertrand Russell

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
~ Bertrand Russell

Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.
~ Bertrand Russell

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life that it shall yield them any of those personal goods that are subject to the mutations of time.
~ Bertrand Russell

Freedom in general may be defined as the absence of obstacles to the realization of desires.
~ Bertrand Russell

I believe in using words, not fists. I believe in my outrage knowing people are living in boxes on the street. I believe in honesty. I believe in a good time. I believe in good food. I believe in sex.
~ Bertrand Russell

I do not pretend to start with precise questions. I do not think you can start with anything precise. You have to achieve such precision as you can, as you go along.
~ Bertrand Russell

I like mathematics because it is not human and has nothing particular to do with this planet or with the whole accidental universe - because, like Spinoza's God, it won't love us in return.
~ Bertrand Russell

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.
~ Bertrand Russell

Religions that teach brotherly love have been used as an excuse for persecution, and our profoundest scientific insight is made into a means of mass destruction.
~ Bertrand Russell

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic.
~ Bertrand Russell

Right discipline consists, not in external compulsion, but in the habits of mind which lead spontaneously to desirable rather than undesirable activities.
~ Bertrand Russell

Science is what you know, philosophy is what you don't know.
~ Bertrand Russell

Sin is geographical.
~ Bertrand Russell

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
~ Bertrand Russell

The coward wretch whose hand and heart Can bear to torture aught below, Is ever first to quail and start From the slightest pain or equal foe.
~ Bertrand Russell

The degree of one's emotions varies inversely with one's knowledge of the facts.
~ Bertrand Russell

The demand for certainty is one which is natural to man, but is nevertheless an intellectual vice.
~ Bertrand Russell

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy.
~ Bertrand Russell

I say quite deliberately that the Christian religion, as organized in its Churches, has been and still is the principal enemy of moral progress in the world.
~ Bertrand Russell

I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt. I shouldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine.
~ Bertrand Russell

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
~ Bertrand Russell

I've made an odd discovery. Every time I talk to a savant I feel quite sure that happiness is no longer a possibility. Yet when I talk with my gardener, I'm convinced of the opposite.
~ Bertrand Russell

If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give.
~ Bertrand Russell

Benjamin Disraeli Quotes

Adele Quotes

Heartbreak can definitely give you a deeper sensibility for writing songs. I drew on a lot of heartbreak when I was writing my first album, I didn't mean to but I just did.
~ Adele


I don't make music for eyes. I make music for ears.
~ Adele


In five years' time I'd like to be a mum. I want to settle down and have a family, definitely sooner rather than later. I'd like to have finished my second album too, maybe even my third. I'd like a sound that sticks around that other people are inspired by and that people know is me.
~ Adele


It's never been an issue for me - I don't want to go on a diet, I don't want to eat a Caesar salad with no dressing, why would I do that? I ain't got time for this, just be happy and don't be stupid. If I've got a boyfriend and he loves my body then I'm not worried.
~ Adele


Mum loves me being famous! She is so excited and proud, as she had me so young and couldn't support me, so I am living her dream, it's sweeter for both of us. It's her 40th birthday soon and I'm going to buy her 40 presents.
~ Adele


My voice went recently, never happened before, off like a tap. I had to sit in silence for nine days, chalkboard around my neck. Like an old-school mime. Like a kid in the naughty corner. Like a Victorian mute.
~ Adele


People are starting to go on about my weight but I'm not going to change my size because they don't like the way I look.
~ Adele


The focus on my appearance has really surprised me. I've always been a size 14 to 16, I don't care about clothes, I'd rather spend my money on cigarettes and booze.
~ Adele


I don't really need to stand out, there's room for everyone. Although I haven't built a niche yet, I'm just writing love songs.
~ Adele


I get so nervous on stage I can't help but talk. I try. I try telling my brain: stop sending words to the mouth. But I get nervous and turn into my grandma. Behind the eyes it's pure fear. I find it difficult to believe I'm going to be able to deliver.
~ Adele


I like having my hair and face done, but I'm not going to lose weight because someone tells me to. I make music to be a musician not to be on the cover of Playboy.
~ Adele


I like looking nice, but I always put comfort over fashion. I don't find thin girls attractive; be happy and healthy. I've never had a problem with the way I look. I'd rather have lunch with my friends than go to a gym.
~ Adele


I love hearing my audience breathe.
~ Adele


I'm like Johnny Cash. I only wear black.
~ Adele


I've never been more normal than I am now.
~ Adele

Alexander Graham Bell Quotes

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
~Alexander Graham Bell


Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open.
~Alexander Graham Bell


The most successful men in the end are those whose success is the result of steady accretion.
~Alexander Graham Bell


The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world.
~Alexander Graham Bell


What this power is I cannot say; all I know is that it exists and it becomes available only when a man is in that state of mind in which he knows exactly what he wants and is fully determined not to quit until he finds it.
~Alexander Graham Bell


A man, as a general rule, owes very little to what he is born with - a man is what he makes of himself.
~Alexander Graham Bell


America is a country of inventors, and the greatest of inventors are the newspaper men.
~Alexander Graham Bell


Before anything else, preparation is the key to success.
~Alexander Graham Bell


Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.
~Alexander Graham Bell


Great discoveries and improvements invariably involve the cooperation of many minds. I may be given credit for having blazed the trail, but when I look at the subsequent developments I feel the credit is due to others rather than to myself.
~Alexander Graham Bell


Neither the Army nor the Navy is of any protection, or very little protection, against aerial raids.
~Alexander Graham Bell

Alfred Hitchcock Quotes

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds, just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Disney has the best casting. If he doesn't like an actor he just tears him up.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


I am scared easily, here is a list of my adrenaline - production: 1: small children, 2: policemen, 3: high places, 4: that my next movie will not be as good as the last one.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


I am to provide the public with beneficial shocks.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Revenge is sweet and not fattening.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


The more successful the villain, the more successful the picture.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


The only way to get rid of my fears is to make films about them.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


The paperback is very interesting but I find it will never replace the hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


There is nothing to winning, really. That is, if you happen to be blessed with a keen eye, an agile mind, and no scruples whatsoever.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


This award is meaningful because it comes from my fellow dealers in celluloid.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time capsules in order to give those people living in the next century or so some idea of what we are like.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Self-plagiarism is style.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Some of our most exquisite murders have been domestic, performed with tenderness in simple, homey places like the kitchen table.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Someone once told me that every minute a murder occurs, so I don't want to waste your time, I know you want to go back to work.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up everytime.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn't change people's habits. It just kept them inside the house.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


I'm full of fears and I do my best to avoid difficulties and any kind of complications. I like everything around me to be clear as crystal and completely calm.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


What is drama but life with the dull bits cut out.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


When an actor comes to me and wants to discuss his character, I say, 'It's in the script.' If he says, 'But what's my motivation?, ' I say, 'Your salary.'
~ Alfred Hitchcock


I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


If it's a good movie, the sound could go off and the audience would still have a perfectly clear idea of what was going on.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Luck is everything... My good luck in life was to be a really frightened person. I'm fortunate to be a coward, to have a low threshold of fear, because a hero couldn't make a good suspense film.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


For me, the cinema is not a slice of life, but a piece of cake.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


Give them pleasure - the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.
~ Alfred Hitchcock


I am a typed director. If I made Cinderella, the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach.
~ Alfred Hitchcock

Andy Rooney Quotes

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
~ Andy Rooney


We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.
~ Andy Rooney


We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
~ Andy Rooney


If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
~ Andy Rooney


If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
~ Andy Rooney


Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
~ Andy Rooney


I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
~ Andy Rooney


I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.
~ Andy Rooney


I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me.
~ Andy Rooney


I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
~ Andy Rooney


I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.
~ Andy Rooney


I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
~ Andy Rooney


I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes between scoring in hockey. There are usually more fights than there are points.
~ Andy Rooney


I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
~ Andy Rooney


I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
~ Andy Rooney


It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.
~ Andy Rooney


Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
~ Andy Rooney


The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
~ Andy Rooney


The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
~ Andy Rooney


A writer's job is to tell the truth.
~ Andy Rooney


All men are not created equal but should be treated as though they were under the law.
~ Andy Rooney


Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
~ Andy Rooney


As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
~ Andy Rooney


Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
~ Andy Rooney


Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.
~ Andy Rooney


Death is a distant rumor to the young.
~ Andy Rooney


Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
~ Andy Rooney


Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
~ Andy Rooney


Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
~ Andy Rooney


The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
~ Andy Rooney


The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
~ Andy Rooney


The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
~ Andy Rooney


The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.
~ Andy Rooney


The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
~ Andy Rooney


The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.
~ Andy Rooney


The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
~ Andy Rooney


Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
~ Andy Rooney


Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
~ Andy Rooney


Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
~ Andy Rooney


My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
~ Andy Rooney


Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
~ Andy Rooney


Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.
~ Andy Rooney


People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
~ Andy Rooney


When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
~ Andy Rooney


Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
~ Andy Rooney


Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.
~ Andy Rooney

Angelina Jolie Quotes

I never like being touched, ever. People used to say I held my breath when they were hugging me. I still do.

~ Angelina Jolie

I seem to be getting a lot of things pushed my way that are strong women. It's like people see Hackers and they send me offers to play tough women with guns, the kind who wear no bra and a little tank top. I'd like to play strong women who are also very feminine.

~ Angelina Jolie

I think all women go through periods where we hate this about ourselves, we don't like that. It's great to get to a place where you dismiss anything you're worried about. I find flaws attractive. I find scars attractive.

~ Angelina Jolie

I'd go from film to film and almost detach from one world and jump in another. I was living as these people and not having a self. I didn't know who I was. And things just get really dark.

~ Angelina Jolie

I'd like to believe that the people that have supported me in my work or identified with me in films, the people that feel they know me, they do and they don't have misconceptions - they understand. I believe that.

~ Angelina Jolie

I don't believe in guilt, I believe in living on impulse as long as you never intentionally hurt another person, and don't judge people in your life. I think you should live completely free.

~ Angelina Jolie

The fact is I am not having sex. But I feel absolutely ripe for the, what would you say? plucking?

~ Angelina Jolie

The truth is I love being alive. And I love feeling free. So if I can't have those things then I feel like a caged animal and I'd rather not be in a cage. I'd rather be dead. And it's real simple. And I think it's not that uncommon.

~ Angelina Jolie

Therapy? I don't need that. The roles that I choose are my therapy.

~ Angelina Jolie

Where ever I am I always find myself looking out the window wishing I was somewhere else.

~ Angelina Jolie

Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from over mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life.

~ Angelina Jolie

There's people constantly asking you for something on set, so the multi-tasking of motherhood transfers very well to being a director. And I think you're compassionate.

~ Angelina Jolie

There's something about death that is comforting. The thought that you could die tomorrow frees you to appreciate your life now.

~ Angelina Jolie

They're right to think that about me, because I'm the person most likely to sleep with my female fans, I genuinely love other women. And I think they know that.

~ Angelina Jolie

To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning if I did that. I wouldn't be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.

~ Angelina Jolie

What nourishes me also destroys me.

~ Angelina Jolie

When I get logical, and I don't trust my instincts - that's when I get in trouble.

~ Angelina Jolie

When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers I kind of wanted to be a vampire.

~ Angelina Jolie

I don't see myself as beautiful, because I can see a lot of flaws. People have really odd opinions. They tell me I'm skinny, as if that's supposed to make me happy.

~ Angelina Jolie

I don't think the money people in Hollywood have ever thought I was normal, but I am dedicated to my work and that's what counts.

~ Angelina Jolie

I grew up as this very carefree, happy kid then things turned darker for me. Maybe it was because I saw that the world wasn't as happy a place as I had hoped it would be for me.

~ Angelina Jolie

I like everything. Boyish girls, girlish boys, the heavy and the skinny. Which is a problem when I'm walking down the street.

~ Angelina Jolie

I like someone who is a little crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess.

~ Angelina Jolie

I like to hide behind the characters I play. Despite the public perception, I am a very private person who has a hard time with the fame thing.

~ Angelina Jolie

I love to put on lotion. Sometimes I'll watch TV and go into a lotion trance for an hour. I try to find brands that don't taste bad in case anyone wants to taste me.

~ Angelina Jolie

I need more sex, OK? Before I die I wanna taste everyone in the world.

~ Angelina Jolie

I never felt settled or calm. You can't really commit to life when you feel that.

~ Angelina Jolie

I'm getting a wrinkle above my eyebrow because I just can't stop lifting it, and I love that you know.

~ Angelina Jolie

I'm happy being myself, which I've never been before. I always hid in other people, or tried to find myself through the characters, or live out their lives, but I didn't have those things in mine.

~ Angelina Jolie

I'm just glad I was able to return to some of that innocence and beauty I had as a child when I started my own family, and my children brought me back some of that spirit.

~ Angelina Jolie

I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.

~ Angelina Jolie

I've been reckless, but I'm not a rebel without a cause.

~ Angelina Jolie

I've realized that being happy is a choice. You never want to rub anybody the wrong way or not be fun to be around, but you have to be happy. When I get logical and I don't trust my instincts - Thats when I get in trouble.

~ Angelina Jolie

I've told Billy if I ever caught him cheating, I wouldn't kill him because I love his children and they need a dad. But I would beat him up. I know where all of his sports injuries are.

~ Angelina Jolie

All women do have a different sense of sexuality, or sense of fun, or sense of like what's sexy or cool or tough.

~ Angelina Jolie

And my dad, you're a great actor but you're a better father.

~ Angelina Jolie

Everyone got kind of crazy with me mentioning I was in love with a woman.

~ Angelina Jolie

First and foremost comes my family and my life with Brad. We have so much joy in raising our children and teaching them about the world that nothing really compares to that.

~ Angelina Jolie

Honestly, I like everything, boyish girls, girlish boys, the heavy and the skinny.

~ Angelina Jolie

I always play women I would date.

~ Angelina Jolie

I am deeply grateful to the citizens of Sarajevo and the Sarajevo Canton assembly for bestowing upon me this incredible honor of citizenship. I am so proud to now be a part of such an extraordinary part of the world and fellow citizen to the people I deeply love and admire.

~ Angelina Jolie

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.

~ Angelina Jolie

I didn't really want to live, so anything that was an investment in time made me angry... but also I just felt sad. When the hopelessness is hurting you, it's the fixtures and fittings that finish you off.

~ Angelina Jolie

I do have tatoos, and I do wear leather, but there are other sides of me, that my film express.

~ Angelina Jolie

If I didn't have my films as an outlet for all the different sides of me, I would probably be locked up.

~ Angelina Jolie

If I make a fool of myself, who cares? I'm not frightened by anyone's perception of me.

~ Angelina Jolie

If I think more about death than some other people, it is probably because I love life more than they do.

~ Angelina Jolie

If you ask people what they've always wanted to do, most people haven't done it. That breaks my heart.

~ Angelina Jolie

If you have enough people sitting around telling you you're wonderful, then you start believing you're fabulous, then someone tells you you stink and you believe that too!

~ Angelina Jolie

Oh, God, I struggle with low self-esteem all the time! I think everyone does. I have so much wrong with me, it's unbelievable!

~ Angelina Jolie

Once you have six children, you're committed.

~ Angelina Jolie

Sometimes I think my husband is so amazing that I don't know why he's with me. I don't know whether I'm good enough. But if I make him happy, then I'm everything I want to be.

~ Angelina Jolie